| My Name |
| My name is Jessica, but only my mother is aloud to call me that. You can call me Jessi. I'm 23 years old, mother of a happy-go-lucky two year old little girl, named Amelie, and a wife of a wonderful and handsome man named Bo. |
| My Blog |
| This is my diet blog. I've tried others before and have failed. I have to keep track of what I have eaten and this is my way of doing it. Feel free to comment and make suggestions. |
| My Goal |
| My long term goal is to lose 150 pounds. Yes, I am aware that is a lot, but I have to lose a lot too. I have had many problems due to being overweight including: PCOS, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, migraines, depression, anxiety, fatigue, and a few others left to name. |
| My Life |
| I was born and raised in Panama City, FL. I've been here all my life. I graduated from A. Crawford Mosley High School in 2003. I got married May 21, 2005 and had my first child November 26, 2005. Today, I am a stay at home mother and an army wife, trying to get by day to day as normal as possible. Which, if you know me, you know how hard that can be! I love my family, my friends, and my life. There are just a few changed I want to make to it, starting with my weight. |
| My Future, My Dreams. |
| I grew up in ballet class. I loved it so much. Then, there came a time in middle school that I had to give up the thing I loved to make the grade. I quit ballet and from there on, my life became harder. I gained weight, a lot of weight. Now, a high school graduate of five years, my dream is to lose that weight and get back into ballet and continue my dreams. I've always wanted to be a prima ballerina, but even if I cannot achieve that dream, I want ballet to be involved in my future. |
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| Final Entry |
| Friday, February 22, 2008 |
Tonight has been one of the worst nights of my life. The people who I thought were my best friends, are apparently not. I've cried my eyes out. I've become depressed, but it seems I can't even talk to my "best" friends. I suddenly feel myself drowning in tears. My head hurts. My heart aches. And I feel like I am spiraling down into the black hole again.
It started with a girl named Brittany. My friends and I use to have this problem with her. It's a long complicated story I just don't even feel like getting into. Anyway, a few months ago, Brittany and I made ammends with each other and decided to let bygones be bygones and in the past few weeks, we have grown together and have talked more. My friends are mad at me because of this. Because they still have a problem with her.
I have decided to put my past in the past. What happened, happened. What was said, was said. There is no taking it back or changing it. I have decided to re-builed that bridge that was burned between Brittany and myself. My friends have had problems in the past as well with her and their bridge has not began being built back up and it may never. But what happened between Brittany and them is their thing. Just because Brittany and them have not decided to build a bridge between the problems, doesn't mean I can't. One of my resolutions this year was to be more Christ-like and I believe I am. I prayed for a very long time about the problems between Brittany and myself and I believe that God finally answered my prayers.
But just because I am friends with someone they don't like, doesn't mean they have to be mad at me. I don't talk to Brittany about them and I don't talk to them about Brittany. It's like two totally separate worlds. What is between me and Brittany is between me a Brittany and what is between them and Brittany is between them and Brittany. I've actually learned that she is a nice girl and my opinions are my opinions. They are friends with people I don't like (I won't mention any names) but I am not mad at them because of it. I am an adult and I can make my own decisions on who I want to be friends with. I am not telling them they have to forgive me, but I am asking it, but I am also saying that I am not going to stop talking to Brittany because of this. If they can't accept that I am smart enough to make the right choices of who I want to be friends with, or talk to, or whatever, maybe it's not worth it. Maybe they weren't really my friends. But, I love them, and I will always love them, even if I don't have the love in return anymore.
I don't think I've ever been more hurt in my entire life. I guess I should restock my meds. I haven't taken them in days and I am sure that this situation isn't helping. But don't worry, I am not going to revert to my "old ways". I have my daughter. Maybe the only reason I have worth living for, but still, a reason.
And to this, in tears, I say goodbye MySpace. Goodbye Xanga. Goodbye Blogger. The internet life is addicting and stupid. If people would stop worrying about what their "enemies" say on the internet, life would be a lot happier and easier.
-Jessi |
posted by Jessi @ 11:16 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: Jessi
Home: Fort Campbell, Kentucky, United States
About Me: I was born and raised in Panama City, FL. I've been here all my life. I graduated from A. Crawford Mosley High School in 2003. I got married May 21, 2005 to the most wonderful man in the world and had my first child November 26, 2005 and she is my life! Today, I am a stay at home mother, army wife, and full time student, trying to get by day to day as normal as possible. Which, if you know me, you know how hard that can be! I love my family, my friends, and my life. There are just a few changed I want to make to it, starting with my weight.
See my complete profile
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